(Male First Name) (Male Surname) (PM No) Prime Minister
(Lives In) man sweeps into No. 10
By (Written By) Chief Political Correspondent
Number 10 Downing Street changed hands yet again last night as a new Prime Minister swept to power in what pundits said was the biggest landslide since the BBC invented the Swingometer. Westminster insiders were in turmoil as safe seat after safe seat fell, catapulting (Male First Name) (Male Surname) to power - and world leaders wondering – “just who is this (Lives In) man”, and “what does his election mean for the rest of the world?”
(Male First Name) left his constituency as the first results began to come in at 1.30 a.m., and was headed for party HQ in central London in a chauffeured limousine. Supporters up and down the country were ecstatic and by 3 a.m., political insiders were describing it as an ‘unstoppable wave’. It appears that (Previous PM)’s wife was right to have left the family bags in the hallway of Number 10.
At a party gala in London, Robbie Williams played the anthem of the campaign, 'Things Can Only Get Even Better' to loud cheers from the crowd. Party members cheered and tears were visible on the faces of loyal supporters.
“I would just like to say a big thank you to Britain for supporting me,” said the new Prime Minister as he arrived in the early hours of the morning. “You will not regret it!”
Political pundits speculated that, with a list of policies which included a three-day weekend and five extra Bank Holidays a year, it was likely Britain would indeed remain behind Prime Minister (Male Surname) for a very long time to come.
As the new Prime Minister was whisked from party headquarters towards Downing Street, messages from all around the world had begun to pour in. The US President sent a typically eloquent note, saying, “(Male First Name) this is your moment. This is your time. Together we can change the world!”
And as the door of Number 10 slammed shut behind the new incumbent the pack of experienced political journalists outside swore they heard the pop of champagne corks and clinking of glasses from within - a busy schedule already awaiting Britain's new PM.
At 10 a.m. a helicopter was waiting to take Prime Minister (Male Surname) to meet the Queen at Balmoral. Party spin doctors would not comment, however, that a diversion was expected – rumours have it that the new PM will be celebrating his appointment at his local pub with friends and family, before his onward trip to Scotland.